Rainy thoughts.

As soon as it starts to rain, I get into a rather depressing mood. Not always, but most of the time. When I’m snuggled up in bed for example, with a few candles lit, a cuppa and a good book and it starts to rain, it actually calms me and makes me feel even more comfy. But right now I’m sitting in the office, with absolutely nothing to do and it just started to rain cats and dogs. This makes me think of how lonely I actually am.

“When it rains, I don’t mind being lonely, I cry right along with the sky.”

I’ve been rather positive all day, I think that’s because I had a lovely talk with the boyfriend last night about our future. So I went to work with a smile on my face today, but then I got bored, then frustrated and now rather sad. Without any reason. It started to rain; I looked out the window and suddenly felt the urge to cry.


I start to think. That’s the thing. I actually hate thinking. Thoughts are seriously bad for your health. One second you’re on top of the word, your body floated with happiness, you feel invincible. Like you’re in some kind of bubble, flying through the world. Suddenly, your mind comes up with one little negative thought...*blop*...your bubble bursts and you land on the cold and dirty ground, better known as – reality. That’s how I feel about thinking. I try to think and be as positive as possible, but when I not watch out for one tiny second, the thoughts are creeping up from behind, lay a rope around my throat and try to choke me.

No matter how much I tell myself to stay positive, no matter how many plans I make and no matter how good they are. There are always these thoughts. “How am I even gonna make this?”. “What if I’m not good enough?”. “Why can’t things be easier?”. Stuff like this. It’s driving me insane.
But that’s life. You have good days and bad days. And you have to keep going. So I have no other choice, I have to kick those thoughts right into the balls. Build a one-man army and show them who the boss is. I’m not gonna let this bring me down. Come here rain! Come in thoughts! I’m ready.

Well I hope you are all full of positive energy today, go out and share it with someone. I'll go home soon and hide under my blanket until I'm in a better mood again.

Sab