Moving away, moving back, moving on.

So yesterday in my post, I said “It feels like yesterday that I….quit my job or moved to England and then moved back to Germany”. And I also said that’s “another story”.

Are you ready to hear it?

Right, so in August last year I finally did what I’ve been planning and dreaming about for years: I moved to England. Sunderland, to be more specific.

I quit my job, booked a flight, packed my bags, said goodbye to my family (basically it was more of a crying-my-eyes-out thing) and hopped on the plane.

And then there I was, with my boyfriend, meeting his parents and his brother for the first time. I guess I don’t have to tell you that I was terrified.

But there was absolutely no reason for that. They’ve all been lovely and it didn’t take long until I felt like this is “home”.

I was actually planning to go down to London a week after I arrived. For a job interview but (after a long talk with the boyfriend and his brother and god knows who), I wasn’t so sure anymore if this would be the right thing to do so I basically took the easy way out and stayed in Sunderland.

Looking back at this now, I don’t think it was the best decision I’ve ever made. But at this point I was happy with my it. I had a place to sleep, some lovely people around me and even found some new friends. And Sunderland itself isn’t too bad either. I was happy.

But reality kicked in soon and I realised this is not just a holiday trip. I had to find a job. QUICK!

Easier said than done, I’ve sent out application after application, but nothing.

It was a pain to get all the documents for my national insurance number, a bank account and other stuff that you just need when you’re a “grown-up” deciding to move to another country. (Stupid proof of address shit!)

But even when I had all the documents and was basically ready to finally start my “new life”, I still didn’t have a job and there weren’t many positions I could’ve applied for. Let’s just say, within these 4 Months I had one, yes ONE, job interview and as you can see, I didn’t get that job.

I went to see my family at the beginning of November because I really missed them and I needed some comforting.

As I went back to England, I had a long chat with my boyfriend and decided it was for the best to start looking for jobs in germany as well. Believe me I was more than upset about this. But I slowly ran out of money…after I spent most of it on clothes and books (and sweets) and I started to get bored and basically just felt completely useless because of the job situation. It wasn’t easy.

One of my old colleagues sent me an email with a vacancy of a really great position at my old company; of course I applied for it. Not long after that I got a call and they invited me for a job interview.

I took the last 250€ I had and booked a train ticket to germany. Flying with two 50 kg suitcases and a 25 kg hand luggage would have been a bit too expensive. And you don’t even want to know how much stuff I still had to leave at the boyfriends place!

I went to the job interview a few days later but didn’t hear back from them for a loooong time.

But then I got a call, again one of my old colleagues, telling me she’s heard I’m back and she would like to offer me a job (again). I didn’t have to think about it twice this time.

And now since February this year I am back in the coolest company ever and I am more than happy about this.

But this also means I’m back in germany and since my parents have a pretty small flat now, I live with my grandma, again.

It took me a while to get used to this again. I’ve been down for several weeks after I came back. I wasn’t very happy with myself. Like, I wasn’t good enough and didn’t try hard enough. And even though I haven’t been in Sunderland for too long, it feels like home now. And I do miss everything about it.

But now I’m quite okay with my situation. I have a great job and I’m back with my family and the (two) friends (I have now, since the bestie is still living in London).

A lot of other things are going on as well right now, but you’ll have to wait until I write about this….in another post.

Xxx

Sabrina

Let’s get down to business.

Remember when I told you about the job offer I got a few weeks ago? Yes? Good. Guess what…I rejected it. I don’t know if this was the right decision or not but I had to make one and I’m quite happy with it at the moment. We’ll see how it turns out in the future.

And I absolutely can’t wait for what lies ahead of me. THE date is the 21^st of August. Only 10 weeks left until my planned leave. Holy Christ! And yet, there is SO much to do. I hope this is going to work out! (I am still shitting my pants! But I honestly try to be positive!)

On Thursday I called my agency to tell them about my plans and that I’m going to cancel the contract so the last day of work for me will be the 31^st of July. As expected they weren’t happy that I’m going to leave, but they have no other choice, they have to accept it. So today I wrote my termination with notice, which I’ll have to send out later. Crazy stuff. I also already cancelled my phone contract, but still got to pay for it until November. Great.

I sent out a lot of applications already and hope I’ll get some feedback so it’ll be a bit easier for me to get a job, once I’m in England.

I already told you that I’m currently living at my nana’s and I’ll stay there until the day I leave. So pretty much my whole stuff, all the boxes, are now in her basement (she’s absolutely not happy about it because the basement isn’t really big but, oh well.). I still got to find a way to send it all over, something cheap not like a container or something. But I can’t be arse to put it all in small boxes, this would be too expensive, but I’ll figure something out.

"Sometimes goodbye is a second chance."

I also have to plan our farewell party. Yes OUR. The bestie is going to come over (she’s currently in London working as an au pair) and we’ll have a little party with all our “friends”. So I’ll have to design the invitations, try to get the bestie on Skype so we can figure out a guest list, got to rent the place for the party, got to calculate how much money we can/have to spend on food and drinks. It’s a lot to do but I’m actually quite looking forward to it.

What else is there to do? Umm of course I got to book some flights. I actually want to go see the boyfriend again and his family in July before I move over. I got to go to different doctors, talk to my bank, my insurance and some other people. Since I am working everyday from 8 to 4 and I’m home by 6 it’s quite hard to find the time to do it. And I can’t take a few days off work again.

I also got to make an appointment for a tattoo me and the bestie want to get the day before the party. And I’m actually really excited about it. It’s going to be gorgeous!

"And I'm dreaming so much, but I don't ever wanna stop."

So much to do, so little time. I can’t believe how fast the last few weeks have gone! And I still cannot believe all this is finally happening now. It’s crazy. But I’m really looking forward to all of it. It’s definitely going to be an adventure!



I'll keep you updated of course ;)

Cheers,

Sab x

Expect the best, plan for the worst and prepare to be surprised.

As a lot of you already know: I am still planning to move to England. Get out of this shit whole and move on to pastures new.

BUT my plans of leaving this shitty country always, and I mean ALWAYS, get ruined. No matter how good my plans are, no matter how prepared I am...something happens, more bad than good stuff, and I have to start planning again. I start to think that this is a sign. Maybe I am not supposed to move away, maybe I have to stay here my whole life and be unhappy, because this is god’s plan for me! “Sabrina wants to be happy?! Fuck that I won’t let this happen! Let’s ruin her plans until she gives up!” - Thanks for that God!

A few years back, I’ve suddenly been sure about the fact that I will never be happy here and that I want to move away, not just move out of my parents’ home and get my own flat in the next town, no. I want something different, completely different. I am sick of Germany; I am sick of the people, the language, the country, and the government, just everything! And I like England, I like the country, the people, the language, I just like it. And shut up about the weather! Yes it does rain in England but do you think its better in Germany? No. It’s pretty much the same, I can live with that.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Then one day, voilà the boyfriend appeared on my screen. A cute English guy, who caught my attention immediately. Right from the start, I knew that I cannot imagine my future without him. This encouraged my view on moving away even more.

Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.

So the bestie (yes she’s gonna come with me) and me started planning a long time ago. And we realised it’s a lot harder than we thought at the beginning, but it was okay. We planned, a lot. Got all the information and thought about the best way to do it. After months of trying to save money and setting different dates and then always postponing them, we finally had the ultimate plan. She’s gonna go to London for a few months as an au pair, I’ll stay in germany and work till my contract ends and then move in with the boyfriend. At least until I found a job and me and the bestie found a flat together. Sounds easy, but (still) isn’t. I am not gonna tell you every detail, because it's a long and not really nice story and actually my family problems are not your buisness. Just so much:

I am scared. I am honestly shitting my pants. But now, I have no other choice. My parents gonna move out of the house and move in to a two bedroom apartment with my brother and my sister’s gonna move away with her son as well. Since I actually won’t have a home anymore, I have no other choice than leaving in august. Because I do not want to stay here any longer and I will not get my own flat here because I still need to save money! I’m gonna stay with my nana or my sister for the next 2 months until I can finally go over to the boyfriend. I thought.

Good fortune is what happens, when opportunity meets planning.

And now?! My plans are upside down again. AGAIN! My contract would end in July but now they offered me a new position, starting in August for another year! Another year? This means I'd have to get my own flat here, in shitty land. Can I really stay here another year? Push back my plans and dreams again? The boyfriend AND the bestie won’t be impressed. It’s a brilliant opportunity though, would look marvellous in my CV...but can I do it? Mentally? I don’t know. I have to think about this now. Maybe do a pro and contra list?! Urgh! I don't even know why I wrote about this now, I just had to get it out of my mind, too much stuff is in my head right now, it might explode. Anyway....

But what would you do? Got some advice, anything?

Till then,

Sab

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