Dear Diary...

First of all, I want to ask a question:

Imagine you could go back in time and meet your younger self –
What would you say? What advice would you give?

- Stop wearing these clothes, they make you look ridiculous?!
- Forget it, your boobs won't get any bigger?!
- Don’t waste your time on him, it’ll only last 2 weeks?!
- No, you won’t die because HE broke your heart?!
- Stop being so dramatic and concentrate on school?!

I’m asking this, because yesterday, I cleaned and rearranged my room and I found an old diary. It’s from 2006 so I was about 15 years old back then. And I can tell you, the first thing I would say is:

LEARN TO WRITE PROPERLY YOU STUPID LITTLE TWAT!

Seriously, when I started to read it all I thought was “Jesus was I really this stupid? Who the hell writes like this?” And I don’t mean the stuff I wrote about (god I can tell you it’s ridiculous!) no I mean the way I wrote…just like a proper idiot, I mean….you know what I mean!
But yeh, anyway…When I read all these pages, I didn’t know if I should start to cry or laugh. It’s was hilarious and quite disturbing at the same time. Now I can laugh about these lines I wrote, but it also remembered me of how I felt back then…it brought back (some funny) memories.

So pretty much all I wrote about was how shit school is and how I can’t wait to finish it and get a job. That was the first thing that made me realize how stupid I was. I wish I was still at school now! Seriously.
And how much I love my friends and how I never want to lose them…and guess what?Exactly, no one of them (apart from 1 or 2) are still my “friends”. People change. And how much I love this guy and how I know that he will never break my heart and that we will live happily ever after and you know what? It was over after 2 weeks. Quite funny how I wrote this…from “OMG I’M SO IN LOVE HE’S FINALLY MINE!” to “I WAS SO STUPID, FORGET WHAT I SAID A FEW PAGES BACK…HE BROKE MY HEART! I’M NOT GONNA SURVIVE THIS! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE NOW?!” And then, 5 days later: "Okay, I'm over it now."


– ah yeh…the good old times ;)

But well, that’s the thing about being 15…you’re allowed to be stupid. You don’t have to deal with a job you absolutely hate, or unpaid bills, or any other “grown up” stuff. All you worry about is: Boys and School…and Boys. That’s it. You’re allowed to moan about school. You’re allowed to think the world is going to end because HE broke your heart.

And to be fair, sometimes I wish I was 15 again. But then I read this diary and now…no thank you, I NEVER want to be 15 again. Let’s be honest, being 15 is quite hard. But then does it get any easier? When you turn 16, 18, 20, 21?! No. To be fair…it gets even worse. There are more important things to worry about. Your future for example. How are you gonna pay the bills? Where do you want to be in a few years? Or better: Where do you see yourself next year?

Growing up sucks and yes, even tho I’m 21 already, (SHUT UP (I DON'T WANT TO BE) I'M NOT AN ADULT!!!) growing up sucks. End of. But that’s life...it goes on. You grow older. Deal with it and make the best out of it.

On that note, cheers to our 15 year old selves! We may have become older now and (hopefully) a lot wiser, but somewhere deep inside of us, the 15 year old girl/boy is still there. Is she/he proud of what we became now and who we are now?! Think about it.


Sab