Wow....seems
like I keep forgetting I have a blog. Either these are the first signs of
Alzheimer’s or my life is just boring and I have nothing to blog about.......
Anyway, one
year...12 months...365 days...525.600 Minutes (thank you “rent”)... okay well
maybe not exactly, the last entry is from 30/08/2013 and today is the 19th August 2014...I am close though so
f*ck it.
So what has
changed in a year? I am still working in the same office and I still love my
job, and yes I am also still living in the apartment of which I am talking
about in my previous post. Something has changed though; I am on my own now. No
boyfriend. That’s a huge thing considering how happy I was about the fact we
finally moved in together after 3 years of long distance relationship. And let
me tell you, ending this relationship was definitely not easy.
Breaking up with
someone is always hard. Breaking up with someone after 3.5 years and a good 6
months of living together is very hard. And it took me a long, long, long time
to realise that I am not happy with this relationship and that my feelings had
changed. Why? I can’t tell you. But that’s the thing about feelings, they come
and go, they rush over you like a wave or leave you cold like an icy storm. And
most of the time you have no control over them, but I’ve read a quote once
which is quite fitting: “You can close your eyes to the things you do
not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want
to feel.”
And then, once
you realise what is going on in your heart and mind, you have a choice. Not
only one actually. You have endless choices. Now in this situation, do you wait
and see if the feelings change again? Because maybe you’re just going through a
rough patch and it’s just a phase and everything will be back to flowers and
sunshine soon. Or do you take a leap and just end it once and for all because
you know your feelings will never be the same again and you do not want to make
yourself and the other person (even more) unhappy?
You never know
if the choice you made was the right one. Maybe eventually you will regret
it....this thought sucks doesn’t it? Because if you are so sure about something
now, how could you possibly regret it in a few weeks, months, or even years?
“The hardest
thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn” ~David
Russell.
I made the
choice to end the relationship and for now it seems to have been the right
choice. But who knows? Maybe I f*cked everything up completely. Maybe that was
IT and I was too blind and too full of myself to appreciate what I had. Who
knows if it was a good or bad choice I made. I’ve heard once that “Good
decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.”
Sounds about right, doesn’t it? We have to make decisions every day. Good or
bad, no one knows. But we always learn from them. One way or the other.
The most
important point is you ALWAYS have a choice. You
have the choice to accept your situation and adapt to it, or to change your
situation and maybe, even if there’s just a 50% chance...maybe you’re lucky
enough to find happiness.
Because that’s
the thing with choices, with them there comes responsibility. The
responsibility of your own happiness. Because you need to put yourself first.
You need to ask yourself, are you happy the way your life goes right now and
what choice do you have to change it if you’re unhappy? But also, you need to keep in mind
that:
Everything has a consequence. Every action has a
reaction. ~ Isaac Newton
xo
Sab
